I salute the teachers and principals at Mayde Creek because all too often, schools and district administrators are reluctant to allow open discussions of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases to take place within their institutions.  As a result, students often mistakenly believe they are not at risk.   And that is a dangerous myth.

The numbers are disturbing.  In the city of Houston, adolescents between the ages of 13 – 19 account for 5% of the new HIV infections.  That translates into 60 teenagers in Houston contracting HIV each year! 

Sixty Houston teenagers a year will have to face the physical, emotional, and financial devastation of HIV disease.   Illness and opportunistic infections, possible rejection by family members and sexual partners, stigma, social isolation, doctors and tests and pills, and a lifelong pricetag for the disease that tops $600,000 – these are the harsh realities that must be addressed when one lives with HIV.

Mayde Creek High School set an example this morning that we should all follow.   All of us must work to ensure our young people know the facts about HIV/AIDS, and we must be certain they know how to protect themselves and prevent new infections.  It’s the only way to insure our future and theirs…

In addition to being a fundraiser, AIDS Walk Houston is a celebration of life that allows us an opportunity to demonstrate our support of those living with HIV/AIDS.   In fact, AIDS Walk is a big party attended by more than 10,000 of your friends and neighbors.  There’s food and drink, singers and dancers, speeches, a kiddie corner, and more!  It’s a good time and a good cause.

Finally, AIDS Walk Houston provides a way for all of us to honor those who have been lost to the disease and to help raise awareness of HIV/AIDS so that we don’t have to lose more loved ones.  

When I think about AIDS Walk Houston, I think about the reasons I walk.  As you read my reasons for walking, I hope you will consider your own and join us this Sunday in Sam Houston Park.

My reasons for walking are :  Robert, Roger, Danny, Jorge, Jerry, A.B., Freddie, Arthur, Greg, Terry, Joey, Marc, Steve, Glenda, M.J., Debbie, Glenn, Bernie, and the list goes on and on…

www.AIDSWalkHouston.org

Even though I’m a day late and a dollar short, I thought I’d share some information with you about a few of the newer and more innovative condoms on the market:

1.  Kimono – These jewels are the thinnest latex condoms (20% thinner than most) but still provide the same protection and safety.  Kimono Micro Thin condoms are even thinner than regular Kimonos and make you feel like you’re not wearing a condom at all.

2.  Inspiral – The name says it all.  This condom has a unique twisted spiral shape at the tip for increased anal pleasure.  Give ‘em a spin!

3.  Beyond Seven Studded – Made by the Japanese manufacturer, Okamoto, these condoms are a little bit narrower than most condoms and fit like a glove.  They are made from ‘Sheerlon’, a thin but strong type of latex, and the studs provide extra pleasure.

4.  Durex Warming Pleasures – This latex condom comes with a warming lubricant that is designed to ‘enhance intimacy’.  I don’t know if they will do that but they will warm your, um, cockles.

5.  Trojan Magnum XL – Thirty percent larger than most condoms, this one ranks at the top for tops with ample endowments.

 The brand or style of condom you choose doesn’t matter as long as it is latex or polyurethane.  Other important tips for effective condom use include proper storage (a cool, dry place, not your wallet!), checking the expiration date (don’t use an out-of-date condom), and avoidance of oil-based lubricants (use water-based ones like Wet or AstroGlide.)  Follow these easy recommendations and enjoy worry-free sex during National Condom Week and all year long!

Due to HIPPA privacy laws, a person’s medical information is confidential.   Period.  So, the whosgotwhat.com folks don’t know who’s got what.  But as skilled con artists, they do know what kind of information might motivate someone to fork over their hard-earned dollars. 

So don’t be fooled by this scam.  Don’t share your money or credit card information with them. 

And don’t try to protect yourself from HIV, syphilis, herpes or any other sexually transmitted infections by using make-believe websites like whosgotwhat.com to screen potential sex partners.  Instead, just use a condom every time you have sex.

Robert and I met in 1976, when I was working with his mother, Bobbie, at a neighborhood grocery store.  I was 15 and it was my first job.  I was the first girl grocery sacker (wasn’t 70′s feminism great?!) at Riley’s Supermarket, and Bobbie was a checker there.  She took a liking to me and frequently told me I needed to meet her younger son, Robert.   Then, one fall afternoon, he came into the store and she introduced us.  I think Bobbie wanted me to meet Robert in the hopes that he and I would have a romantic relationship.

Given that he was a gay teenage boy and I was a budding young lesbian, romance was not a part of the equation for us.  But Robert and I had a strong  connection from the moment we met.  We felt immediately comfortable with one another.  Our personalities clicked.  We had similar home lives and family issues, and we shared a variety of interests.  We had fun, made each other laugh, and went on adventures together. We trusted one another implicitly and we knew we could always count on one another in good times and bad.   We were soul mates.

Robert’s AIDS diagnosis in 1987 was devastating for me even though it wasn’t a complete surprise.  He had been experiencing numerous unusual illnesses for the previous couple of years, and at that time in our history, those of us in the gay community knew that often meant an AIDS diagnosis was imminent.  

 He was only 29 when he passed away from an AIDS-related opportunistic infection on December 4, 1990.  I often think about what he would be like today had he survived.  What kind of work would he be doing?  Would he be married?   What would be important to him as a 48-year-old gay man?

I’m sure he’d have a partner or a boyfriend because he was a dear and handsome man.  I know he would still be ‘gay and proud’ and he’d be vocal in his support of Annise Parker’s mayoral bid.  He would probably be a more careful driver now and he’d likely be drinking less alcohol and smoking less dope than he did when we were younger. 

Robert was in restaurant management when he died, but I think he would probably be working in computers today.  He loved electronics and I’m certain he would be a big fan of the internet!  If nothing else, I know he’d utilize the world-wide web for sexual hook-ups.  As a result, he would probably have let his Club Houston membership expire!

On the other hand, I think some things would be the same all these years later.  We wouldn’t be skipping school like in the old days, but I bet he and I would occasionally take a ‘sick day’ and head to the beach.  Robert would still be a fabulous host with the ability to mix a delicious cocktail.  He’d still be an avid fan of rock and roll, and I know he’d have tickets to the upcoming KISS concert!

I’m sure he would still have the endearing habit of rubbing the satin pillow his grandmother made on his upper lip when he didn’t feel well.  And because I know the thoughtful and caring man he was, I am certain he would still be bringing steaks over to my mom’s house for their monthly dinners together.

I regret that he didn’t live long enough to see the advent of protease inhibitors and other effective treatments for HIV.   I hate that he didn’t get a chance to do all the things he wanted to do in his life.  And selfishly, I’m sad that I didn’t get to have more time with him.

Obviously, I miss Robert very much, even all these years later.  The good news is that I frequently see or hear something  that reminds me of him and I’m comforted by that.  It’s proof that we really do live on in those who love us.

My mother who loves me unconditionally (and always has) and makes me laugh.

My beautiful partner (to whom I am devoted) who loves me, nutures me, inspires me, comforts me, supports me and makes me laugh.

My BFF who knows me better than anyone else and still loves me, looks out for me, keeps my secrets, cooks for me, and makes me laugh…hard…everyday.

My circle of close friends who love me, accept me, challenge me, stimulate me, entertain me and make me laugh.

The wonderful employees of AIDS Foundation Houston – dedicated, hard-working, and compassionate professionals with whom it is an honor to work, and (based upon a performance by several staff members at a recent All Staff meeting…) make me laugh.

I hope all of you experience similar love and laughter in your lives.  Happy Thanksgiving!

My presentation was well-received but I will readily admit lesbian safer sex is mostly fantasy.  I’ve been an out lesbian for over 30 years and I’ve never been asked to use a glove or dental dam, nor have I asked another woman to employ one.  I’ve polled many other lesbians and same holds true for them. Fact of the matter is – lesbians just don’t engage in safer sex practices.

It’s true lesbians tend to have lower rates of sexually transmitted diseases than their straight sisters, however, that doesn’t mean lesbian sex is safe sex.  There are good reasons for women who have sex with women to utilize barrier methods to protect themselves from sexually transmitted infections.  One of the best reasons is the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV).

HPV refers to a family of viruses that is made up of  over 60 different types.  Some strains of HPV cause common warts, others cause genital warts, and still others don’t cause visible symptoms but can lead to anal and/or cervical cancer.  And you need to know that over 90% of the cases of cervical cancer in women are caused by HPV!

HPV is transmitted through skin to skin contact.  Very simple, very easy.   It’s important that lesbians know HPV can be (and is) transmitted from woman to woman.   HPV can be transmitted by sharing a dildo but penetration is not  required for a woman to become infected with HPV.   Oral sex and even digital (finger) stimulation can do the trick!

The only 100% effective strategy for avoiding HPV infection is complete and total abstinence.  Since that is not a practical or even desirable alternative for most of us, lesbians can utilize safer sex methods to reduce their likelihood of becoming infected with HPV.

It is suggested that women wear gloves or finger cots when digitally stimulating their partner.  They should also cover their dildo with a condom and change the condom before each use.  Finally, dental dams or even Saran Wrap can be used to make oral-vaginal or oral-anal contact less risky. 

Another way some of us might protect ourselves is vaccination.  The Gardisil vaccine offers some protection against the HPV strains that can lead to cervical cancer, so please talk with your doctor about getting it.   

Probably the most important thing lesbians can do to stay healthy in a world of HPV is to get routine gynecological exams.  For many women, diagnosis with HPV comes following an abnormal Pap smear result.  So, please see your gynecologist regularly and get comfortable with the phrase, “Scoot down to the end of the table and let your legs fall loosely to the side.”

Be safe, my sisters, so you can stay healthy.  I’m sending you wishes for long and happy lives…

Cheers!

Kelly

I was truly touched by Arthur’s gift and her apparent concern for gay youth.  I don’t know if she was a lesbian but I’d be proud to count her among our ranks.    Thanks, Bea!

Woo is chubby, wrinkly, and occasionally gassy.  She has a hoarse and unimpressive sounding bark and she sheds enough each day to make a coat for a small child.  Woo also snorts, whistles, and makes other strange noises when eating, sleeping, or pretty much doing anything at all.  Given that list of traits, one might think that Woo would be self-conscious or have an inferiority complex. 

Au contraire!  Woo has tremendous self-confidence, most likely born of her pleasing personality, great sense of humor, and acceptance of her flaws.  She takes her shortcomings and somehow makes them work for her!

Her funny-looking little face makes others smile upon meeting her.  She greets them with sincerity and enthusiasm and expects nothing more than a kind word and a belly rub.  People instantly like her because she likes them.  And that makes her happy.

In short, Woo is a carefree little dog who loves unconditionally, makes others laugh, and reminds us of the importance of generosity, friendship, and happiness.  And she loves herself for the contributions she makes to the world.

We should all be a little more like The Woo.

Hep B, transmitted in the same ways as HIV (unprotected sex, mother to child, sharing needles) is 100x more infectious than HIV.  And Hep C, transmitted through blood contact (as in sharing needles or some forms of sex) is also more infectious than HIV.

Viral hepatitis infections can occur as either acute (get sick and get over it) or chronic (long-term, even life-long) infections.  Chronic hepatitis can lead to cirrhosis of the liver, liver cancer and even death.

4x more Americans (over 4 million) are living with chronic Hep B or Hep C  than are living with HIV/AIDS.  However, HIV gets way more press coverage and way more money for prevention and treatment programs.  Most of our citizens don’t know much about viral hepatitis and the Texas Department of State Health Services budget for viral hepatitis, for the ENTIRE state of Texas, is just $261,000! 

That doesn’t pay for much education, screening or treatment, does it?!

Until our state decides to make a commitment to fighting viral hepatitis, there are some things you can do to protect yourself…

1.  Wear a condom every time you have sex.  Hep B can be transmitted via sexual fluids, so unprotected sex is risky.  

2.  Both Hep B and Hep C viruses are found in the blood of infected persons.  So, don’t share needles or works for any purpose – shooting drugs, tattooing, body piercing, allergy shots, whatever. 

3. The Hep B and Hep C viruses, unlike HIV, can survive in dried blood for several hours to several days.  Therefore, it is advised that one avoid sharing toothbrushes, razors, nail clippers, or other personal hygiene items.

4.  Get vaccinated against Hep B.  (No vaccine currently exists for Hep C.)

And if you happen to be infected with Hep B or Hep C, there are things you can do to stay healthy longer.  For starters, get to the doctor.  And not just your primary care physican.  Go to see a hepatologist – a liver specialist. 

If you are an appropriate candidate, get treatment for your chronic hepatitis infection.  Treatment isn’t always effective, and it is accompanied by serious side effects, but it does clear the virus for many patients.  However, if you don’t have insurance or a sugar daddy, affording treatment may be difficult.  It costs $3,000 – $5,000 monthly!

Another way you can help yourself stay healthy with hepatitis is to stop drinking alcohol!  Period.  Alcohol is hard on a healthy liver, much less one dealing with a chronic viral infection.  Also, it is recommended that persons with chronic hep drink lots of water, eat several small meals, and be careful with over the counter medications like Tylenol.

Until next time, stay healthy and be safe!

Kelly